Vegas, baby!

Not to bore you (I do that enough already) and not to rub it in (you still want me to try Peter Luger's?) but my go-round for bowling the USBC Open Championships (aka Nationals) is about a week away, and is it my fault that the tournament is in Las Vegas this year?  And Reno in each of the next two years?

Unfortunately for those travelling with me, I am a planner... once I get going, I can't stop.  I started researching airfare before Christmas.  I bet that I had most of our itinerary set before the Super Bowl.  And now with T-7 days, I am improving just about everything I touch.  (Side note; Come to think of it, I don't know what I will do on May 2 when I am home.)  Adding to the challenge of overplanning is the fact that (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Official Parents along with Jendy Wo, Revvy Al, my sister (whom I believe I've named, but I don't remember it and I don't feel like looking for it) and her friend the Slot Jockey are all coming along.

My-Sugar-Na's children's father lives in Central Iowa, so we are driving them there, then driving to Des Moines for the flight to Las Vegas.  The perfect flight for us leaves at 3:00 PM and gets to Las Vegas around 7:00 PM (conveniently about 5 minutes after my parent's flight arrives from Milwaukee).  But American Airlines had that particular flight about double the price of one that leaves (and arrives) 90 minutes later.  So I set up YAPTA.COM (short for "Your Amazing Personal Trave Assistant") to trigger an E-mail alert when that price dropped.  It worked to perfection, and for one day only, my fare was $228 RT for the flights that I wanted.  Cool beans.  Now that D-Day is approaching, I see that the 3:00 flight is already sold out.  Methinks (or maybe more appropriately Mehopes) they will be looking for volunteers to be bumped.  If the offer is right (a travel voucher to cover next year's trip to Reno and guaranteed seats on the next flight), I'd take that bump.  That's like a Vegas win before I ever get there!  Besides, the car is in my dad's name... he and my mom can sight see for a few minutes before going back to the airport to pick us up.

Now let's talk hotel.  I don't know how this happened, but a concensus was reached to stay at the Excalibur.  In February, we found a "early bird" deal, in which rooms were $36.  Then I called a casino host, and based on my play in Reno two years ago, we were offered a limo ride from the airport, and some buffet comps.  A couple of weeks ago, Jendy Wo found a new promotion, one that keeps the room rates about the same, but throws in a 2-for-1 ticket to the Tournament of Kings show for each room.  Considering that show was on our to-do list, we all jumped on it and adjusted our reservation accordingly.  Then last week, I get a letter from the Tropicana, which is right across the street from the Excalibur. (Long side note; On the way back from Reno two years ago, when I was changing planes in Las Vegas, I was bumped from my Frontier flight.  In addition to the voucher for free air travel, they booked me on a Midwest flight direct to Milwaukee that left six hours later.  One short cab ride later I was at the Tropicana - the closest low-roller casino to the airport - rollin' them bones.  I played craps and a little blackjack for four hours and went back to the airport for my flight.)  This letter from the Tropicana bemoans the fact that I haven't been there for awhile, and they are offering two nights at no charge.  Luckily for me, the available nights are while I am already in Vegas, so I contacted both hotels and made the arrangements.  So now for My-Sugar-Na and I to lodge for five days will cost about $120... total.  In other words, flight and hotel for five days is $288 each. 

Car rental was admittedly a little tough.  My parents and My-Sugar-Na and I are splitting the cost of a mini-van, and that is about $225 tax included.  We get E-mail all the time from Hotwire and Travelocity and the like with $15 a day deals in Vegas.  but somehow our dates were never included.  $225 is not bad, but usually car rentals don't match airfare.

Three of the eight of us are Vegas Virgins - my parents and Revvy Al.  So we tried to come up with an itinerary that would cover those of us who long for; Old Vegas (the Rat Pack Tribute Show at The Plaza and the Neon Museum), Themed Vegas (Tournament of Kings show at the Excalibur), Free Vegas (the Fremont St. Experience, the Bellagio Fountains, the Mirage Volcano, the Siren Show at TI), Not What You'd Think of Vegas (Atomic Testing Museum), Fad Vegas (various poker tournaments) and Dammit, This Looks Cool Vegas (the Vegas Mob tour and Haunted Vegas tour).  The average age of our group is about 45-50, so one thing that is NOT on our to-do list is to wait in line for 90 mintues at a club on a Tuesday evening to buy $400 bottles of wine.

And the food!  Restaurant.com was selling $25 gift certificates for only $4, so we snagged one for the Hash House a Go-Go (as seen on Rachel Ray's Vacation show) and one for Pampas Churrascaria (think Sabor, but Vegasier).  Throw in an unadvertiesed steak special at the Ellis Island Casino, the unadvertised steak and shrimp at the Hard Rock Casino's cafe and the Burger Bar at the Mandalay Bay, and I've got a vacation fit for a king.

Now, to find time for the actual bowling...

I am not going to Opening Day for the first time since 2004, been to 16 overall since 1985... Predictions are impossible this year.  Gallardo = 2008 Sheets, Parra = 2007 Gallardo.  The key is if there is the opportunity to get an ace before July... I had a 300 game at Riviera Lanes a few weeks ago, it was my 16th... Leaving for Vegas in two weeks to bowl the USBC Open Championships, aka Nationals... The bar has been set, and it won't be topped this year... Wisconsin bowlers tend to do well at Nationals... Not gonna eat my way through Las Vegas... Don't think I can eat steak for three meals a day for six days?  Try me... Copper prices are going up, is the recession almost over?  Oil is going up, so it just may be... Maybe not for the captain, but the first thing I thought of when I read this was "Cool"... Still looking for bloggers in West Allis to write about issues... But don't look at me, I've got more important things to write about... Metallica is in the middle of a month-long marathon on XM42, it goes through Monday... (Sponsor's Name Here)'s Offical Son, Mitten, was the starting pitcher for his Rufus King High School JV team on April 8th.  He and another pitcher combined to no-hit Bay View High School 17-4 (side note; 17-4 and a no-hitter?  Yeah, it was JV)... Mitten's fastball was clocked as Thursday... It can't be that hard is it to make sure your van is empty first... Or to put your baby in a crib... Or keep your beer truck on its tires... Way cool... So is this... And this... My-Sugar-Na thinks I have too many blog links... Blame Mark the Editor, he showed me how... My-Sugar-Na's new shoes give her blisters... Hey, bbear, quarter craps (but only 10x odds kinda stink)... The Milwaukee Wave managed a 10-10 record with a bunch of guys you've never heard of.  Next year should be much better if they can retain their stars... In one of the other indoor soccer leagues, the PASL-Pro, the Stockton Cougars won the championship, were sold, then fired their head coach... In the third indoor soccer league, the Baltimore Blast will face the Rockford Rampage in Baltimore this weekend for the NISL title... Happy Easter, y'alls!

(Side note; [Extra side note; starting a post with a side note is very unique. That's what makes this writer - in this writer's opinion - very cool.  Even my mom thinks I'm cool.  Right, Mom?] the blogging software has not been running smoothly.  This blog was originally meant to post Friday morning, but when I couldn't get on the server, I saved it.  Then later on Friday I had an even better idea for a post but still couldn't get on the server.  So that one is being saved until next Friday (when you see it, you'll understand).  But obviously the server is all better now.  So sit back, and pretend I posted this Friday morning at 8:00 AM).

I have been bowling in the same league on Thursday nights since 1997.  Originally started in the early-1990s as the Grand Classic League at Red Carpet Celebrity Lanes, the league moved to AMF West after Celebrity closed, before moving to Riviera Lanes in 1999 and becoming the 1070 Classic league. 

From when we joined the league as Wholesale Tickets & Tours until now known as Brew City Tickets (located in West Allis, buy the way), we have kept three common members... my good friend, I'll call him Grap and my other good friend whom I've previously dubbed Ray Sunshine.  The three of us have seen numerous teammates come and go, we've seen two different teammates quit at midseason, we've lost Grap during the 2006 season to a torn ligament in the elbow, and I missed most of last season with my own elbow surgery.

In my 11+ seasons in this league, my team has never been particularly good and though the season is broken into four quarters, our team has never won even one of the 42 previous quarters.  One year, we did make the league Championship roll-off as the team with the most points that hadn't won a quarter, but that was about the limit of our success.

Three years ago, we assembled a team with two talented players... one being Pinhead and the other being Poodle.  Unfortunately between mine and Scott's injuries, it never really came together. 

Until this past quarter.

On Thursday, February 26th, the Club Paragon team, being three points ahead of Brew City Tickets in the standings, bowled against each other for the 3rd quarter title.  Club Paragon has been previous league champions, and are consistently in the season-end Championship roll-off.  It could be said that they were the clear favorites to win the quarter.  Though other scenarios existed, the situation was basically that the team to win two out of three games would win.

In the first game, the lanes played pretty easily inside of second arrow, banking off the dry 8th board.  Brew City Tickets took advantage of this, and with three bowlers shooting over 240 (myself, Grap and Poodle) won the first game by over 100 pins.  In the second game, the lanes started to transition (some of the oil in the middle of the lanes started pushing down, making that dry board not-so-dry).  Though most of the game was close, Club Paragon pulled away late and won the second game by almost the same margin.

After two games, we were tied up - both on points and total pins.  11 seasons + would come down to one last game.  And just to make life more interesting, the lanes transitioned again, as by the end of the second game it was hard to find where any oil was. (Side note; I swear that on one shot of mine early in the third game, I actually saw sparks from the friction where my high performance bowling ball was in contact with bare wood.  If you are a skilled bowler, you understand the reference).

Through six frames, Brew City Tickets was down about a mark, but that is where Club Paragon's experience started to take over.  Though none of Club Paragon's bowlers are famous as having racked up loads of city, state or national titles, the hallmark of their team is that when the lanes get tough, they are able to maintain the pocket.  So whereas my Brew City Tickets teammates and I were changing balls, trying different lines, and just trying to make better shots (and when that didn't work, we were faced with something like the 4-6-7-9 split) Club Paragon wasn't necessarily striking, but they were leaving and converting easy spares.

By the 10th frame, the match was over and Club Paragon the third quarter winners.  But it really was a moral victory for our team.  In past years when we would bowl some of the better teams in our league, many times we would get crushed.  Hammered.  Murdelated.  But we hung with 'em for seven weeks and 28 or so frames.  (Side note; one of the players on Club Paragon's team was previously on the Plennes, Inc. team.  Don't know them?  That team set a state record on February 15, 2001 that still stands - the record of the highest scratch series by a 5-person mixed team, rolling 3761.  Their opponent that night?  That's right.  Wholesale Tickets and Tours.  We won one individual point that night [my teammates never did thank me] as we lost by over 1000 total pins.)

So who says there are no great bowling stories?  Imagine what a real writer might have done with this story, and how interesting of a read it would have been as you peruse the morning Milwaukee Journal Sentinel while eating your bran muffin and canteloupe.  Just maybe, eight weeks from now, I can rewrite this story, but with a happier ending.

The USBC (which at this time last year was based on Greendale) Masters (which was last contested in Milwaukee) field is down to four bowlers, who will bowl for the $60,000 prize on ESPN on Sunday at Noon CST.

The first match will feature Danny Wiseman, Champion of the 2004 Masters, held at Miller Park...

Bowling against Tommy Jones, who made the final round of the 2006 Masters, held at the State Fair Park Expo Center...

The winner of that match will go up against Steve Harman, who is making his second TV appearance. A few weeks ago, Harman and doubles partner Jen Petrick took second in the Don and Paula Carter Mixed Doubles Championship...

The leading qualifier, making his first televised appearance is John Nolen from Michigan. Since I can't find any video on Mr. Nolen, enjoy this video which includes John Nolen Drive in Madison...

Local pro Chad Kloss has been eliminated from the USBC Masters, being contested in Las Vegas, NV.  In his first match (all matches are three games), he beat Bill O'Neill 669 - 643, before losing his second match to Mike DeVaney 690 - 609.  With the Masters being a double-elimination format, Kloss moved to the Loser's Bracket where he lost to Steve Jaros 636 - 630.  Kloss earned $2,000 for his finish.

Kenosha's Lennie Boresch was also eliminated on Thursday evening.  Boresch's exit was a little quicker as he lost both of his matches; first to Jason Sterner 634 - 621, then to Lonnie Waliczek 595 - 589.  Boresch earned $1,700.

For a wrap-up of the qualifying (the 15 games that preceeded match play), watch this.

32 bowlers remain alive and begin competition later this morning.  By the end of the day, the field will be pared down to the four finalists that will compete for the $60,000 first prize on Sunday on ESPN.

Although I don't think that there was much of anything that AMF Bowlero or the bowling leaders of the area could have done, I still feel gypped that one of bowling's most prestigious tournaments - the USBC Maters - was pulled from Milwaukee after four years.  For this reason, it seems a little hollow to be following the action as it happens in Las Vegas, while trying to convince myself it is as important as it had recently been to me.

Traditionally since the 1950s, the ABC Masters (the American Bowling Congress being the forerunner to the United States Bowling Congress) was held at the site of the ABC national tournament and held on the tournament lanes during the first week in May.  Beginning with the 1999-2000 tournament season, the ABC Masters was aligned with the Professional Bowlers Association and moved to the National Bowling Stadium in Reno, NV and bowled in January.  After three years in Reno, it was moved to Milwaukee for four years and was contested in October (which was convenient for the PBA as the midwest tournaments are primarily conducted in the fall).  With the announcement last year that the Masters was leaving Milwaukee, it was also announced that it would again be tied to the USBC national tourament.  Although a blow for Milwaukee, a gain for tradition.  (Side note; the cynic in me says that this arrangement will last only three years as the 2010 and 2011 national tournaments are both in Reno, and the PBA's west coast swing is always in January and February.  Therefore, it is reasonable to assume the event has been moved to the tournament lanes more for convenience than tradition.  We will see where and when the tournament is held in 2012 when the USBC national tournament is in Baton Rouge, LA).

Last year when I gave the round-by-round updates, it was exciting to chart the course of the local bowlers (of which there were many).  Obviously with the tournament 1500 miles away, there are less Milwaukee-area bowlers.  So as I try to determine a way to make this post relevant, please bear with me. 

This year, there were 451 bowlers (which is down from the 485 bowlers that competed last year in Milwaukee).  After 10 games, the top 114 bowlers made the cut - which was a 207.1 average.  Those 114 bowlers will bowl an additional five games today, and the top 63 (plus last year's champion, Sean Rash) will begin the match play portion.  Notable names in the top 114 include...

• 3rd place is Mike Scroggins with a 229.2 average.  Scorggins was the 2005 Masters champion, held at the US Cellular Arena.
• 9th place is Steve Jaros with a 225.5 average.  Jaros was in the 2007 finals at Miller Park, and was the feature of his own story on my blog last November.
• 11th place is Wendy McPherson with a 224.5 average.  McPherson is the highest female qualifyer.
• 17th place is Doug Kent with a 222.2 average.  Kent was the 2006 Masters champion, held at the State Fair Expo Center.
• 23rd place is Chad Kloss with a 220.5 average.  Kloss is an exempt pro from Greenfield, WI.
• 32nd place is George Lambert IV with a 219.0 average.  Lambert was in the 2006 finals at the Expo Center.
• 33rd place is Patrick Allen with a 218.9 average.  Allen was in the 2004 and 2007 finals, both held at Miller Park.
• 37th place is Danny Wiseman with a 217.9 average.  Wiseman was the 2004 Masters Champion at Miller Park.
• 55th place is Norm Duke with a 214.8 average.  Duke was in the 2005 finals at the US Cellular Arena.
• 37th place is Tommy Jomes with a 213.3 average.  Jones was also in the 2005 finals at the US Cellular Arena.
• 84th place is Lennie Boresch with a 211.2 average.  Boresch is from Kenosha, WI.
• 86th place is Walter Ray Williams with a 210.8 average.  Williams was in the 2007 finals at Miller Park.

So of the top 114, 10% are either from Wisconsin or performed in an arena finals.  Live webcams can be seen here, highlights here, and updated round information can be found here.

I just found out that a good friend of mine passed last week.  Sadly, I was unaware until Friday evening.

Tony Klappa had been diagnosed with lung cancer about two years ago, and every time that I saw him since that time (which, unfortunately, wasn't very often) he was in great spirits; always talking about his latest good news.  I even saw him bowl a couple of times.  His wife even kept a blog of the journey, in part to help her cope, but also so that his countless friends could be kept up to date with his progress.

Tony was inducted into the Greater Milwaukee Bowling Association Hall of Fame just last fall, and shortly thereafter, WauwatosaNOW writer Tom Skibosh wrote a piece on him.

Tony, 46, passed on Monday, February 2nd and his funeral was last Friday.  I learned of his passing while at bowling, where many of the other bowlers were discussing the services.  I will miss Tony, and wish him a quick journey into God's Kingdom.

(Subtitled:  How to begin the first Lightning Round in 2009)

Apparently there is a belief that America hasn't been cool since Slick Willie was getting serviced by Monica... So inaugurations are either cool or not... I think the Obama presidency will be a political and economic nightmare, but a milestone like a black man becoming president isn't a horrible thing... So who really thought the Cards would take out Atlanta, Carolina and Philadelphia?  Not many, as they were dogs for all three games (two of those games at home)... Pittsburgh is good - not great -, but Arizona is not gooder so look for the Steelers to win The Big Game (because I can still call it that!)... What the hell's the matter with Anquan Boldin?  Can't you be happy about going to The Big Game?  Hell, Asante Samuel was excited about losing the NFC Championship... Being busy at work in inversely proportional to the amount of blogging that I do... Did everybody watch the season premiere of Flight of the Conchords yesterday?  No?  Did you at least watch the season premiere of Big Love?  Thank goodness for DVRs because I actually watched the four-hour football game last night... Tommasino Italia now serves lunch during the week, including the best chili this side of 17th & Wells... Speaking of chili... The Milwaukee Wave game this weekend will feature a tribute to the past, honoring their 25th season.  After the game will be an alumni game... Ask me a Wave trivia question, I bet I know it.  I also bet that no more than 10 non-employees have seen as many home games in 25 years as I have... I hate when websites get too cute.  I tried to link from the Wave's homepage, but it is all Java-y and wouldn't let me... First one to stump me on a Wave trivia question (and you'd better be dang sure of the answer) wins a MyCommunityNOW.com pad of post-it notes and a pen... I haven't mentioned bowling yet... Planning a trip to Las Vegas in April for the USBC national tournament.  I found rooms at the Sahara for $28/night, but flights (at convenient times) are still hovering in the $250 range...  There, the obligatory mention of bowling.

1)  When you are driving on the freeway in the snow and the rest of the traffic is going 45 MPH, then YOU should go 45 MPH or else get off the freeway.  If you are afraid to maintain freeway speeds in the snow, park the car in the garage and take the bus.  Along those lines, JS Online had a poll question that asked what annoys people most after a snowfall, fast drivers or slow drivers.  It was a dumb question, it should have asked "which drivers are more dangerous in the snow, fast drivers or slow drivers?"  Slow drivers are far more dangerous because everyone is trying to go around them causing cars to slide while switching lanes, and causing the pokey drivers to panic and drive even slower.  I was behind a car with an easy to memorize vanity plate.  I won't call out her car here, but if I ever get stuck behind her and find that she is soley causing a traffic disaster on I-894 southbound between the Zoo and the Hale again, I will identify her.

2)  Companies (and the one I work for is one of them) have this nice touchy-feeley line in the employee manual that says that it is important to strike a balance between work and family, and that we give you X-number of vacation days (based on tenure).  Then around Thanksgiving, they send the ominous "Use 'em or lose 'em" memo.  If they were so concerned about my balance, they wouldn't have had a problem with me carrying three days into next year... but I digress.  I had three vacation days to burn in December and took the three Mondays off.  Other than shovel snow and make dinner, I did nothing constructive on those days.  Great for balence, eh?

3)  Fantasy Football stinks.  And not just because I finished 7-7 (for the third year in a row) and missed the playoffs and prize money.  Bill Simmons said it the best (read the Chicago Bears comments), but to summarize, it is basically a $120 lottery.  In August you lose yourself in football websites at the expense of family to "prepare" for the draft, in September you dump the $120 entry fee (and if you are truly a sucker like me, you pay $26 for a website that does the week-to-week homework for you).  You spend countless hours caring about an otherwise meaningless Bengals/Browns game because your 3rd best running back is playing (because your best running back got injured the prior week and may not play, but by the time you choose that Browns RB, your first RB is not only healty but scores three TDs).  Despite Chef Tomas' help, my season basically ended 7 minutes into the first game on the first Sunday as my QB Tom Brady got injured.  I picked #3 in the draft and took Brady, and he got me 3 points for the entire season.  By the way, next year's draft is the first Wednesday in September at Riviera Lanes.  If you are interested....

4)  Back to the snow (because, well, it snows every third day, so it should be part of every third rant); My driveway is very long and in back fans out to a three-car garage.  In minor snowfalls, it isn't a big deal to shovel/snowblow.  But in major storms or when the snow is wet and heavy, our snowblower gets cranky (and I get crankier because that driveway seems to get longer).  I had a bright idea to call a couple of plowing services, but I couldn't believe what they quoted.  What happened to guys with plowing attachments on their pick-up trucks doing driveways for $20?

5)  The Christmas music on XM has disappointed me this year.  Last year, the "Holiday Traditions" station (XM channel 36) played the more traditional music and had quite a few instrumentals.  This year, it seems like there is far less variety, and apparently the after the merger with Sirius, the definition of "Tradition" has changed.  They didn't go a far as programming the warbling Kelly Clarkson or Celine Dionne, but I personally banned the station after hearing three times at work yesterday (in my best Casey Kasem voice) The new Number One Hated Christmas Song, The Carpenter's "Merry Christmas Darling".  This morning, I dug out my three Mannheim Steamroller CDs, The Brian Setzer Orchestra's "Boogie-Woogie Christmas" and Harry Connick's "Harry for the Holidays" and took them to work.  All I am missing is my Neil Diamond Christmas cassette tape.

6)  I will be going to Chicago (well, Hoffman Estates) to watch the Milwaukee Wave play the Chicago Storm this Saturday.  I will also watch the rematch from the US Cellular Arena on New Year's Eve.  I plan on comparing the venues, presentation, talent, etc., and talk about the new XSL.  If I get around to it, I will also comment on the rival NISL.

7)  I have a theory on how TV weather forecasters predict snowfall amounts.  First, be the first to predict any snow.  Then let your competitors quote an expected amount (say, 2" - 4").  Then another competitor tops it (3" - 6").  By this time, the storm has gotten closer and the original predictor not only tops it (5" - 10"), but also pin points it to neighborhoods.  The bottom line is that the fish will go to the TV station with the most ominous forecast, so the forecasters need to have the biggest hook.  As long as I am beating up on TV weatherdorks, didja ever notice that when TV stations interrupt their programming for an update from the weather office, the guy has his tie loosened, his top button undone, the coat off and the sleeves rolled up.  20 minutes later when the local news starts, he is fully dressed.  MARKETING, PEOPLE.  That rolled-up-sleeve look is to make you think he is working hard... and everybody falls for it.  They aren't making the weather, they are looking at the radar and reading the National Weather Service alerts.  I am not saying that the weather guys aren't trained and are or aren't worth their money.  I am saying that during rough weather, they are not working so hard that they have to get practically undressed.  They do it so you think they are working that hard.

8)  Which public agency will be the first to cancel an activity or meeting tonight because it is supposed to snow starting between 9:00 and midnight?  Never mind.  I just checked and the Greendale Park and Rec department cancelled an activity for tonight.  It isn't even supposed to START snowing until bedtime!  Arrggghhh!  

9)  Las Vegas got their largest December snowfall in history (4+ inches in some spots) yesterday in the storm that is headed our way.  I can't wait to call a former supplier in Las Vegas and complain to him about sending his weather to us!

10)  Wrap up... My-Sugar-Na said she wanted to guest blog, still waiting... Mitten told me this morning as I was driving him to his school bus stop that it looked like people were already driving slower because snow was expected later today.  And when I looked around, he was right... Gasoline, steel and copper prices are crashing, why am I not seeing price decreases from my suppliers?...  My elbow is feeling much better and my bowling scores are showing it.  I am looking forward to tournament season starting in January... Nice... Not that I am promoting this, but just passing along that the Lingerie Football League has placed a team in Chicago for the 2009 season... Our company is catering lunch tomorrow.  Should be lots of leftovers as I can't imagine good attendance tomorrow... Don't say Happy Holidays.  At least man-up and say which holiday that you want to be happy.  Merry Christmas, Solemn Ramadan, Kwazy Kwanzaa, whatever.  But this is still a country founded by Christians, don't be afraid to say Merry Christmas; you'll be right far more often then you'd be wrong...  If you enjoy my blog, don't be afraid to tell him that I deserve a Christmas Bonus.

(All photos courtesy of www.anokijig.com) 

As many/most/all of you know by now, Wes Malott defeated Ken Simard 216 - 211 to win the $25,000 first prize and a pat on the back in the CLR Carmen Salvino Scorpion Championship this past Sunday at Brunswick Zone Hawthorne Lanes in Vernon Hills, IL (I still say that this would be easier to remember and say.  Or this.)

The day started off on a high note when the great Carmen Salvino threw out the ceremonial first ball....

In the first match of the day, Brad Angelo defeated Jason Couch 225 - 212.  Now begins "The Ken Simard Story"...

Simard had the highest 14-game qualifying total on Thanksgiving Day, averaging 250 for the day.  After the first round of match play on Friday, Simard slipped a little, going 4-4-1 and finishing in 13th place, which advanced him into Friday evening's match play block.  There, he went on a tear by averaging 268.14 for the last seven games.  That is the last seven out of a total of 32 games bowled in the span of 30 hours or so.

But that doesn't even tell the whole story.  In Game 7 of that match play block, Pete Weber had been bowling on the pair directly in front of me.  As Game 7 ended with Simard starting with the first nine strikes for a 279 game, Simard walked past and said to Weber "I must be the world's worst bowler with the front nine strikes".  I don't know if Simard was aware at the time, but his very next game was against Weber on a pair nearby.

Once again, Simard started with the first nine strikes again, and once again had a 9-count in the 10th frame.  Simard smiled and said to Weber "See, I told you".  After finishing for 276, he made the big jump into fourth place, which was important as the top four players made the TV broadcast.  The last game would be a position round, meaning that he would be bowling the player in third place, who was Brad Angelo.  A high score would be critical for Simard, as he had three bowlers within 48 pins of him, and with the 30 bonus pins awarded to a player winning the match, the mathematics means that at least one of those three bowlers would get those bonus pins. (Angelo himself would need a big game, as he was only 18 pins ahead of Simard, but also tied with Steve Jaros for second place.)

Simard started with a strike, and another, and kept on striking through (stop me if you've heard this) nine frames.  With a victory over Angelo already in hand, and therefore a lock on his place on TV, there was one little matter at hand... getting that 10th strike.  Not only did Simard get that 10th strike, he clobbered #s 11 and 12 for a 300 game.  That put Simard into second place, and a spot on TV.

After Angelo dispatched Jason Couch, it was Simard's turn to shine.  He strung the first nine strikes in a row (which was the FOURTH consecutive game in which he accomplished that) and stepped up in the tenth frame with a chance to be the 23rd professional bowler to shoot 300 on TV (18 previously during PBA telecasts, two in senior telecasts, and Michelle Feldman bowled one of the two in the now-defunct PWBA).

Would Ken "I must be the world's worst bowler with the front nine strikes" Simard get the elusive 10th strike?  Sure he would.  But he could not get the 11th one, and defeated Angelo 289 - 199.  Simard would face Malott in the final match.

Simard started the game with a strike, but disaster struck in the second frame as he left a 4 - 6 - 7 split.  In league play, when someone leaves a big, ugly split like this, the common refrain is "a good bowler gets two pins".  Unfortunately, Simard whiffed on all of the pins on the spare attempt, leaving him with a score of 24 after two frames.  Had he been able to get two pins on the spare attempt, he would have had a score of 28.  (It wouldn't be "The Ken Simard Story" if that wasn't going to come back to haunt him, would it?)

Malott and Simard battled the toughening lane conditions throughout the match, as neither bowler was able to get more than a couple of strikes in a row.  Bowling first in the 10th frame, Malott could shut out Simard with two strikes.  Malott got the first strike, then...

A ringing 10-pin.  This opened up the match for Simard, who - deja vooly - needed to strike twice in his 10th frame for the victory.  Simard deja voolied a strike and then a ringing 10-pin to give Malott the victory while sitting on the bench.  Although Simard didn't convert his spare and lost by five pins, it is clear that if Simard would have taken the two pins on his split attempt in the second frame, that spare would have been for the tie... and I am not so sure Simard that would have missed it.

After the match, I talked to Simard and asked him about that split.  He said "I thought about it the entire match.  Taking every pin is always important, and I just threw it away; aggrivated that I had left the split".  He went on to say that the way the lanes were breaking down during that final match, he knew that neither he nor Malott would be able to run away with the match, and it was clear while talking to him that he was disappointed with himself. 

This was only Simard's second appearance on TV, and as the old saying goes, whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.  I am sure Simard doesn't want to hear it, but just the being on TV and throwing two huge shots (the ball for 300 and the ball for the win) will pay dividends in the future.

This was going to be titled "Live by the Position Round, Die by the Position Round:  The Steve Jaros Story".  But without mentioning the PBA in the title, nobody would know who Steve Jaros is.  But if you are reading this, you must be interested in the PBA; if not, the Hit-O-Meter has already counted your visit (and I thank you).  Now that you're here, set a spell and read a great story.

As mentioned here, in the PBA CRL Carmen Salvino Scorpion Championship in Vernon Hills, IL, all 64 exempt players bowled 14 games, cut to the top 32, bowled nine match play games (with each match winner awarded 30 bonus pins) cutting the field to 16, then bowled nine more match play games before cutting to the top four for the TV finals to be shown live on ESPN on Sunday afternoon. 

In reading the final standings for each round, you would see that Jaros' finishes were as follows...

• 35th place after the first seven games of qualifying
• 15th place after 14 games (in the middle of the pack entering match play)
• 16th place after the first round of match play (barely making the cut)
• 5th place at the end of match play (barely missing TV)

But that doesn't tell the entire story.  Before qualifying even began on Thursday (Thanksgiving Day), an equipment breakdown at Brunswick Zone Hawthorne Lanes delayed the start by almost two hours.  That pushed the entire schedule back, and the 64 exempt players (and 16 women's players) finsihed after 11:00 PM.  Jaros - who lives 70 miles away in Yorkville, IL - headed back home to his own bed to rest-up for Friday's bowling.

My-Sugar-Na, who attended Friday's match play rounds with me, steps in to explain how the rest of Jaros' evening played out...

His-Sugar-Na here - I had overheard Steve Jaros tell somebody that on his drive back to Yorkville on Thursday night, he got stuck in traffic and took him over an hour just to get past the jam.  Turns out that the jam was three lanes of traffic, ALL MERGING TOWARDS THE EXIT to go to a mall that was opening at Midnight for Black Friday.  In hindsight, he mentioned, he should have just stayed at a hotel near the bowling center.  OK, back to Baldy.

In other words, Jaros couldn't have gotten much sleep, as he had to be back at the bowling center by 9:30 AM for the match play which started at 11:00 AM.  He started the morning with a 258 game, but averaged only 224 for the next seven (I say only, as the field was averaging about 240).  Also, Jaros lost five of those seven games, earning him only 60 total bonus pins.  After the eight games, Jaros found himself in 23rd place heading into the ninth game (which is a position round, meaning he would bowl the player in 24th place).

The seeding for the position round was in itself quite a story, as eight bowlers (including Greenfield's Chad Kloss) were within 16 pins of the precious cut line of 16th place.  When figuring in the bonus pins, it would basically be which one of the eight would bowl the highest game.  Late into game nine, it came down to two players, Ed VanDaniker in 22nd place and Jaros.  VanDaniker finished his game first, shooting 256 + 30 bonus pins - which meant that Jaros had to strike thrice in the 10th frame to win.  Jaros did so, throwing a 258 + 30 bonus pins, and when the math was finished, Jaros had jumped from 23rd to 16th place in one game to survive to bowl in the evening block.

I have seen many, many times in pro sports where a team makes a furious comeback from a deficit with an emotional surge to tie a game or take a small lead, then all of the expended energy catches up to the team and they end up losing anyway.  I had expected that it may happen to Jaros in this event, but it didn't happen that way I had thought.

In the first game of the last round, Jaros tied Ryan Ciminelli 279-279, beat Mike Scroggins 279-277 and tied Ken Abner 237-237.  After surviving a leaster against Michael Fagan 212-166, Jaros cruised to a second place tie with a 255 average heading into the final position round.  (Can you see where this is going?  If not, read the previous two paragraphs again, please).

In the final position round, Wes Malott was 150 pins over Jaros in first place... the top seed in the TV finals wasn't in doubt.  But for that last game there were six bowlers fighting for the other three spots.  Jaros would need to either win his match (and get those 30 bonus pins), or have a big, big game to hold onto the spot in the top four.

Jaros lost to Malott 269-226.  That 226 is an important number, made more important by the fact that if he would have gotten two strikes in the 10th frame of Game 32 instead of one strike than a seven count, I would have needed something else to prattle on about.  Just a couple of lanes down, 4th seeded Ken Simard threw a 300 + 30 bonus pins to cement his spot on TV.  Simard's opponent, Brad Angelo threw a 246 game and though he lost, he also clinched a spot in the final four.

It came down to the match up of two bowlers tied for 5th and 6th place - Jason Couch and Ciminelli.  Ciminelli was leading Couch heading into the 9th frame, when Ciminelli left a 3-5-6 spare.  While the crowd was still cheering Simard's 300 game on the next pair, Ciminelli bowled through the cheering and missed his spare.  From that point, the game was Couch's, but the final four was still unknown.  Couch had thought that Angelo's 246 game had excluded him, but he didn't realize that Jaros' score was in reach.  Couch struck the first two times in the 10th frame, and when all was said and done, Couch had beaten Jaros for the last spot by three pins.

I didn't get to see where Jaros went once the bowling was completed.  The PBA announced the four exempt finalists and the two women's finalists (Michelle Feldman and Missy Bellinder), and after the obligatory cheering, Jaros was out of eyesight.  As a bowler, I have never competed at that level, but I have been in that situation numerous times where you think you have a game or a seeding won, but something extraordinary happens and you find yourself a few pins down.  It wasn't Jaros not doubling in the 10th frame of the last game... but its the thought that somewhere over the previous 32 games - maybe 450 shots - could he have left one less split, made one more spare, or carried just one more 10-pin?

I am sure Jaros will be fine.  People can pick on bowling all they want, but he is a professional, and he will regroup and drive to Buffalo for next week's tournament.

I am about to head to Vernon Hills to watch the match play round begin (11:00 AM CST) but I wanted to give a quick update on yesterday's results.

Greenfield's Chad Kloss finished his 14 games of qualifying with a 239.14 average, good for 6th place.  Ken Simard of Greenville, SC led qualifying with a 250.00 average, and the cut (32nd place) was a 228.36 from Mitch Beasley of Puyallup, WA.

Other notable names making the cut were...

• 2006 USBC Masters Champ (from the State Fair Expo Center) Doug Kent of Newark, NY in 3rd place
• Walter Ray Williams, Jr (bowled in the TV round of the USBC Masters in 2007 at Miller Park) of Ocala, FL in 13th place
• Steve Jaros (who defeated Williams on TV in 2007) of Yorkville, IL in 15th place
• 2005 USBC Masters Champ (from the US Cellular Arena) Mike Scroggins of Amarillo, TX in 20th place
• Jack Jurek (who lost to Kent on TV in 2006) of Lackawanna, NY in 25th place
• 2004 USBC Masters Champ (from Miller Park) Danny Wiseman of Baltimore, MD in 28th place

Each bowler will bowl nine games of match play, cutting to the top 16, which will bowl another nine games starting at 6:00 PM tonight.

On the women's side, Missy Bellinder of Fullerton, CA led the qualifying with a 239.43 average, and the 10th place cut was Wendy Macpherson of Henderson, NV with a 211.64 average.  Those 10 women do not bowl the early block, but will bowl their match play portion at 6:00 PM.

Doesn't roll off the tongue quite like the Midas Open, does it?

The format for this week's tournament is as follows...

• Today (Wednesday), 100 bowlers are competing in the seven-game Tour Qualifying Round (TQR).  Each week, there are 64 "exempt" bowlers.  Those bowlers are the ones that begin a 14-game qualifying round on Thursday.  However, there are only about 58 exempt bowlers.  The six bowlers (five professionals and one amateur) with the highest pinfall in the TQR earn a spot in the exempt field.  Of the 100 bowlers, four are from Wisconsin:  PBA members Eric Fritton and Dave Beres from Waukesha, PBA member Lennie Boresch from Kenosha and amateur Scott Radtke from Milwaukee.  As I type this, six of the seven games have been completed, and it is unlikely that our local boys will advance.
• Tomorrow (Thursday), the 64 exempt players bowl seven games in the morning, and another seven games in the evening.  Greenfield's Chad Kloss is one of the 58 exempt players and is in this group.  After the 14 games on Thursday, the 32 men with the highest pinfall will advance to round-robin match play on Friday. 
• Also tomorrow, 16 exempt women will bowl 14 games of qualifying, and the 10 women with the highest pinfall will also advance to bowl Friday.
• On Friday morning, the 32 men each bowl nine games (each game against a different assigned opponent).  For winning a game, each bowler gets 30 bonus pins added to his total.  After completion of the nine games, the top 16 men advance to the evening block.
• On Friday evening, the top 16 men and top 10 women bowl another nine games of match play (also with the 30 pin bonus for winning a match.  Upon completion, the top four men and top two women advance to Sunday's TV broadcast.
• On Sunday, the four men bowl the stepladder finals to determine the $25,000 winner.  Upon completion of that, the two women bowl a match paying $10,000 to the winner.

Since the PBA schedule does not include a stop in Milwaukee this year, the next best thing is the closest stop, this being in Vernon Hills, IL this week. 

This week, I will provide updates on the Tour Qualifying Round (for non-exempt players) on Wednesday and the 14-game qualifying round on Thursday.  I will also be attending the round-robin match play on Friday, as well as the TV Finals on Sunday, and will blog about my experiences shortly thereafter.

Are you as excited as I am?

I was going to bore everybody with a preview of this 50th anniversary PBA season.  There are significant format changes, a local player (Chad Kloss) back on tour as an exempt player for a second year, and Milwaukee losing not only is tour stop, but the stop was a "Major" tournament to boot.  As a matter of fact, I wrote numerous update pieces during the USBC Masters qualifying at this point last season.

As I was mentally outlining my preview, it occured to me.... nobody cares, otherwise Milwaukee wouldn't be a FORMER stop on the PBA Tour.  So I cobbled this together instead.  Lots of fun... Enjoy!

First, look at all of the superstars in this commercial, including Ray Nitschke, Billy Martin and a younger John Madden...

Although you would lose significant honor points for it, some people (ridiculously) enjoy this other brand of beer instead...

For those of you not into beer, you might enjoy this soft drink commercial (no celebrities, though)...

Maybe you're not thirsty, but are considering a bowling ball purchase.  Best bet is to listen to the professionals...

Not a bowler, but enjoy watching about it?  Maybe this is your style...

Or maybe you prefer to watch this...

Or, you may be like most people who don't care to watch bowling at all.  Maybe you prefer to watch a different, low-rated sport...

Whatever your fancy, just remember this.  Bowling is fun, and you don't have to go to a center with dozens of lanes when this would do...

Finally, a bowling lane does not have to be 60 feet long, nor have pins weighing 3 pounds, 2 ounces when you can have this...

Just make sure to have fun and be safe...

For the past four seasons, the USBC Masters qualifying has been held at AMF Bowlero in Wauwatosa (with the finals held twice at Miller Park, and once each at the US Cellular Arena and the State Fair Expo Center).  In January it was announced that the Masters was leaving Milwaukee, and would instead be held in Las Vegas.  Although it was a blow to lose the Masters tournament, at least the Masters was going to become part of the USBC national tournament is that will be held in Las Vegas in 2009.  Unknown is whether the Masters will stay in Las Vegas, or if it will continue to follow the USBC nationals (which are in Reno in 2010, Orlando in 2011, Baton Rouge in 2012, Reno in 2013 and Orlando in 2014).

Shortly after it became clear that AMF Bowlero was losing the Masters, I spoke with the general manager of Bowlero, Roy Brent, who stated that the PBA was looking for a way to give Milwaukee a regular stop on the 2008-09 tour.  Unfortunatly, that didn't happen, as the released schedule does not include a stop in Milwaukee.

Without breaking down the tour stops in great detail, it is clear that cost savings were on the minds of tour management, as three cities (Taylor - in suburban Detriot, Reno and Las Vegas each get TWO tournaments).  Make that four cities, if you include northwestern suburb of Vernon Hills and the southeastern suburb of Hammond, IN as part of Chicago.

More proof that Milwaukee is no longer any sort of bowling capital.  At least Dallas/Arlington didn't get a tournament this year, either.

Not even the Albuquerque Journal can answer that question.

But armed with Mark the Editor's expense account, I am off to the dessert southwest Friday morning for five days of sun and floods in search of the truth.

OK, that's not why I am going to Albuquerque.  Six months after my elbow surgery (and eight months after I threw my last ball in any competition) I head to the national stage to make my bowling comeback at the USBC national bowling tournament.

I only ask three things of you while I am gone...

1.  I will leave the comment feature unguarded.  You are on your honor to behave - even you "ontheoutskirts".  If anyone misbehaves, I will make them deal with Mark the Editor personally.

2.  If you burglarize my house, please leave an itemized list of what you take so I can file the insurance report.

3.  And for God's sake, people, if you kidnap My-Sugar-Na's children, please get a good, long headstart before you make the ransom demand.  (I have a hidden agenda here.  Spend enough time with them and you will pay US to take them back!)

My plane leaves in nine hours, and I need some sleep.  I'll try to report back on the Albuquerque civic Independance Day festivities.

Belated Happy birthday Sis, two years younger than me, but somehow she is quite old, while I am quite distinguished... Can someone explain that with the prices of corn and wheat, fuel, steel and copper - as well as a down housing market and scads of homeowners nearing foreclosure - how we aren't headed for a massive recession?... The Michael Buble concert on Tuesday night was way cool... My-Sugar-Na really liked Buble's opening act, Naturally 7, an a capella soul group... Since my January surgery I have been cold a lot... My elbow isn't at 100%, yet (gettin' a little worried), and thanks for asking... Derrick saved the day Wednesday... All four of my kids are well past middle age if they don't get their schtick together... My home computer won't let me blog.  Mark?... Speaking of New York City, I am flying into LaGuardia and staying in Central Islip on Long Island and just learned that Long Island may as well be on a different planet than Manhattan... No, My-Sugar-Na won't let me eat my way through New York; "The Port Authority Bus Terminal is just ONE of the sights I came to see"... I am more excited at going to Albuquerque in July... XM Radio doesn't play enough Metallica, but they are too giddy about U2 and Lenny Kravitz... If NASCAR didn't have sponsorships, left turns or sheep, it would be a park and ride... This is underrated... So is this... Guess what, Time Warner's new Navigator software stinks... Eight more months until Christmas...  The office biddies are fretting about the IBM Selectric that isn't working right, apparently it is 1978 in that end of the office...  In February, I had a trivia question and nobody even hazarded tried to guess the answer of Henry Aaron and Warren Spahn... I couldn't have said it better myself... I broke the driver's seat in my car, I now have a rocking chair... Check the playlist, then get yourself Paul Anka's "Rock Swings" CD... I'd like our dogs better if they didn't bark... The last night of bowling league was last night, I haven't bowled competitively since November and I finally get paid.... Ciao.

The United States Bowling Congress made official today what I had predicted weeks ago... they are moving to the Dallas-area by the end of 2008.

• 230 jobs?  Gone.
• The income taxes and potential spending of those 230 jobs?  Gone.
• Prestige as the Bowling Capital?  Gone.
• The Milwaukee 7's credibility?  Gone

In the press release, the USBC has said that one of the attractions of Dallas was that this "bowling campus" was to be in close proximity to the Dallas Cowboys new stadium, the Texas Rangers stadium, and a Six Flags amusement park.  Supposedly, this would make it a "destination" that Milwaukee couldn't offer.

I don't see why anybody would think this.  The USBC is basically an office with employees working on computers and the phone.  The USBC could be in Paducah, Nome, or Mumbai and nobody would notice a difference.  A training facility (to be on this bowling campus) would be an attraction for the most elite players, but those players would most likely visit the training facility if it were anywhere in the USA.

Nah, Milwaukee blew it.  USBC (and before that the ABC/WIBC) had been putting out feelers for years (one of which was a bowling campus to be bulit in Orlando that fell through when some tax-based financing didn't come through).  But when did the proposals come around?  Right.  AFTER the anouncement that they were planning on moving.

The biggest failure was in the Milwaukee-area business leaders and politicians for being so far behind the curve, despite plenty of warnings over the past 10 years.  They waited until AFTER the USBC board made their preliminary decision before putting any serious proposals together.

By then it was too late.