I wrote a year ago about my friend John and his battle with cancer. John and I had shared many cigars and many thoughts during that time. Another mutual friend was also very attuned to John's battle in that his father had similar issues and had appeared to have won at least the first round with surgical removal of a small tumor near the pancreas.
I have just learned that Joel's father is now fighting what is most likely the last battle he will have in this life with the progression of that 'small' tumor. Joel is with his father, also Joel, in Arizona as this is written. He says that his Dad has lost some 70 pounds since Joel last saw him and is heavily medicated.
Joel is watching and waiting, helplessly, as his Dad wages a courageous struggle, as he lets his loved ones know that he loves them and as he acknowledges their love of him. Joel is going through what so many of us either have gone through or will go through. We watch as a loved one is slowly taken from us; we wish that it be quicker; and, we wish that it wouldn't.
We feel selfish; we feel helpless, we feel our need for faith; we pray that the suffering will end...but we wish this would all just go away and that everything would be as it once was.
And then, reality confronts us yet again and we realize that we should never go to bed angry with anyone we love for we have no guarantees that we'll ever have the opportunity to say we're sorry...at least in this life. And, we reflect on the lessons we learned from our loved one, and we recognize that we are the teachers of our loved ones by our examples and our words and our deeds.
Our thoughts and our prayers are with you Joel and Joel Jr. and with your families.
